The Late Show with Me

Yes, I know it's almost midnight. Yes I know that I didn't sleep well last night. Yes, I know I have work tomorrow afternoon. And yes, I know Sean is going to want to eat in about three hours, but a girl needs some time to herself and reflect.

Sean is fighting his first cold; and I hate every moment he's miserable and I can't do anything to alleviate the discomfort. I feel so helpless. I mean, it’s not he is not going to get better, he is; but when he has a hard time breathing or coughs so hard he has a back arching, arm flaying, crying fit. But I’m doing my best. Lots of snuggles and kisses and baby vapor rub on his feet (for the cough).

But even with his cold, he’s still a very happy, very good baby. He’s started to ‘talk’ to us more and is so aware of his surroundings. I had my postpartum appointment a week-and-a-half ago and in the exam room he opened his eyes and smiled at me. Not a gassy smile; a smile. He is so pretty when he flashes that gummy grin. Also, the other day with his great-grammy holding him, he was looking around for my voice when I was talking to her.

It’s the small things like this that just milt my heart and make every sleepless night worthwhile.

Christmas is really close, so I did my holiday baking yesterday… but not for us. Every Christmas, since I was a freshman in high school, part of my Christmas present was to go shopping for necessities and donate them to the local homeless men’s shelter. This year, with the economy and lack of shopping time, I wasn’t able to donate my usual Christmas gift. This year, I baked 5-6 dozen cookies for the men, because everyone deserves a special treat.

This is just one of the tings I do for the shelter. And as much as I love that people give to these men at Christmas, it seems a lot of times this is the only time of year that they do give. My sr. year of high school, the a capella choir I was in sang for them and we were warned not to be upset if not a lot of men showed up. We were told that a lot of the men were upset that this was the only time of year they were thought of. That really struck me. Christmas may be a time to give, but the homeless just aren’t around during the holidays, they’re among us year round.

I have made it my personal mission to do as much as I can for these men and this shelter year round. From the 2 dozen cookies I get free from work at the end of the work week, to the travel toiletry I horde from traveling. Anything I can do, I do, because someone needs to do it year round: So why not me?

When I think of those men, I also think about Christ and how he relied on people like the shelter volunteers and people like me.

Jesus didn’t have a home. Yes, he lived with his parents and worked in his step-fathers shop, but when he left, he was just as homeless as these men. He traveled from town to town and didn’t have a BlackBerry in his Cadillac to find the closest Hilton Suite. He relied on the kindness of the people for lodge, food and transport.

If we say we would have done those things for Christ, then we must do it for these men, and women, as well. “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Mathew 25:40

A blessed Christmas to you all!

Love,

~Erin

Short and Sweet

I'm going to keep this short because I'm A) exhausted and B) just coming off the stomach flu.

Sean Patrick Mumm was baptized on November the 30th, 2008 by his grandfather, Rev. David Mumm.
We are all very proud and happy for Sean.

Two Weeks

Today is Sean's two week birthday; he is growing like a weed!
I can't believe how much he has changed in just this short amount of time! It's crazy! I can already tell he's longer and chubbier and half of his cloths don't fit him anymore!
He's starting to recognize day and night now. He gets up early (like his daddy) and is up most of the morning. He'll have a feeding around 9:00 then take a nap till the noon-ish hour and eat again. After that he'll be awake for a tiny bit, then nap right about till Nate comes home (between 3:30-4:30), eat, play with Dad some and then crash till evening. We'll eat and all watch CSI, Law & Order or Criminal Minds or something of that like, eat when the news comes on and head to bed. He get's up about twice a night now to eat; I take one shift, Nate takes one, so it's all good. (This account does not include all of the diaper changes that happen through out the day)
His 'schedule' may be a little off today. Yesterday, he was really fussy. I had some of my mom’s lasagna the night before last and she used Italian sausage instead of hamburger like she normally does. The seasoning must have gotten into my milk and upset his tummy. The only times he was comfortable yesterday afternoon was if he was held somewhat upright. He slept really well last night, though from all of the fussing.
His stub fell off this morning! It was right after a diaper change and I picked him up to pull his rubber pants over his bottom and when I put him down, his stub was gone! I was all excited (I don’t know why) and put it in a baggy to save with his other baby mementos. And, of course, I had to tell Nate right when I got back to bed. (Should I have mentioned it was a 5am diaper change?)

Right now, he's playing very nice and quiet on his blanky at my folk’s house. We're going to a 'Mommy and Me Breastfeeding' support group today and my dad is taking us. Sean and Granddad had some nice play time a little earlier while Sean was awake and all alert (he still is and is looking at the dogs toys and cooing up a storm). I’m so proud of my baby.

He and Nate and I are also going to his two week check-up this afternoon. I’m sure that he’ll pass with flying colours!

Happy Birthday, Sean! Mommy and Daddy love you!

The Joys of Motherhood

Today, Sean is five days old and we're getting use to being a mommy and daddy.
Friday, I was able to go home from hospital, but not right away. Nate had to work Friday, so my dad picked us up and we went to their place for a little bit till Nate got off. I was dead tired: I had opted to keep Sean in my room after his feeding at 1:00am (we finally got this latch thing down!) so if he was hungry or anything else I could take care of it. I though that I could sleep okay-ish, that he may cry sometime; no, I was up with every little sniffle and hick-up. So, no sleep at all.
(The funny thing was Nate brought my going home clothes and chose a black sweatshirt. Me being as tired as I was, two nights poor sleep and recovering from an operation, I was pail; that black made me look like death warmed over!)

That night, we ate, we feed Sean, changed him and all of the other good things that parents do and headed to bed. Sean has his times mixed up; he thinks that day is night and vice versa, so he was up a lot. I was also paranoid because he was having some problems with spitting up earlier and I was checking with every noise to make sure he wouldn't choke. That was the hardest night
so far.
Last night wasn't much better, he was just fussy and wanting to 'play' and be alert and act like it was day time. I think tonight may be similar, he's slept a lot today. And, it's a little hard for me; i decided that I would take the 'night shift' so Nate could sleep because he goes to work at 7:00 in the morning. He starts to take over around 5-ish (normally he gets up at six, with no alarm clock, so it's not that big of a deal for him) and will keep Sean happy and fed and clean. Tomorrow he'll goes to work again, but my mom took this week off work to help out around the house and get Sean into some kind of grove. We're very lucky, we have a lot of help and we are grateful because not every young family does.

Today was Sean's first doctors visit. He's putting weight back on (he lost 14oz before we came home) and is pretty much healthy over all. He is a little jaundice-y but is still in the normal range, the high end; normal enough to not do anything yet, high enough to have him come back tomorrow for another heel sticking.
But I have to go for now, he's asleep and I should be, too.

HE'S HERE!!!

Sean is finally here!
Tuesday they induced labor for me, thing number one that change our plans. When we got there, the doctor broke my water to get the process started (It felt like I was peeing myself for a long time). So with the induction, I was required to stay in bed the whole time hooked up to a monitor to make sure that Sean was okay, thing two that changed, not being able to move around.
After a while of smaller contractions, they introduced some pitosin in my system to get the the labor stronger. Oh, my God, did that hurt! I was able to handle them for the most part of nine hours, but after nine hours and not a lot of progress, I desided to get the epidural, seeing that I was already stuck in bed. Change number three.
Then the biggest change was when the doctor came in after 12-ish hours and no change had happed whatsoever, I was still at 5cm and having contractions that would normally dialate me to 7-8cm. He was still able to get his fingers between the cervix and baby's head during a contraction, so Sean was sitting really high and semi-sunny-side up. That meaning instead of being face down like he was suppose to be, he was facing up, and not just facing up, facing up at an angle. So, we talked it over and Nate, Doc and I desided that a cesarian was the best option.
The Operation was cool to watch; I could see it in the reflection. The birth took about fife minutes tops, and when they lifted him over the drap to show me his lil' face... I still couldn't believe it; something so 'tiny' and innocent came out of me, that Nate and I made... Wow.
Sean came into the world at 9lbs 15oz and 21 1/4 in with dark brown hair and steel gray eyes screaming like a banchee. He's a big baby, with cute little chubber cheeks, but not chuncky really. He's also really storng and loves to snuggle.

Right now, Sean is doing fine. I'm still having a lot of discomfort and some pain from the operation, but otherwise okay; maybe a bit of baby blues, but okay. Sean is having some issues with latching on for nursing, but we're meeting with a lactision today to try and work that out.
Nate is so good with him while I'm recovering (it's hard to get around). He's been helping changing and swadling him and walking with him. He's also been helping me out to; reaching and fetching things that are painful for me to do now, helping me up out of bed and chairs and being a wonderful rock of emotional support. I couldn't have gone through this without him.
But brakefast is here, so I better go, I'll be home tomorrow.

YEA!!!!

Just got back form the doctor (today is my due date) and they are going to induce me Tuesday if he hasn't decided to come before then.
Yea!! I get to hold my my baby soon!

A glimp of the past

I know that right now I should be ranting and raving about the election results, but I just can't. My mom gave me the most wonderful gift last night: the diary my birth-mother kept while she was pregnant with me.
It was the most amazing thing to read. It started on February 17th, 1985, the day she found out she was pregnant, and she was so excited. As I kept reading, the love for me and the struggle of the decision she made were clearly made; she did not casually decide that she was going to place me for adoption. On the first page she said that she always wanted a child.
In my reading, some of the similarity were kind of shocking: her and my favorite season is fall, We both love to swim, we both sing and play guitar, both love to read, and both feel the fulfillment of helping those in need (she was a nurse, and I have had some training to be one). I think the eeriest thing I read was, she played Sarah McLaughlin to me when she was pregnant and Sarah McLaughlin is my favorite singer.
I felt so bad for the woman when I read that I was two weeks late! Now that I'm at the end of my pregnancy, I know just how miserable she must have been! Sorry Mother!
It was the most beautiful, wonderful gift that I could ever receive or that she could ever give to my family and myself. She really did love me, and to love someone that much to let them go... that has to be the hardest thing in the world.
My mother is my hero.

Close, but not close enough

Well, I'm technically in early labor. At the birthing class, we were taught to go to the hospital when the contractions are 5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute each, for at least one hour. I'm having 1 minute contraction about 3;3.5 minutes apart... for the last three days.
There the right time apart, but they aren't strong enough to do much cervical change. We went to the hospital Sunday morning and they said that they could have kept me, but I would be more comfortable at home.
My grammy (a retired doctor) has been checking me out pretty much once a day and I'm at a good 3cm, but it's just progressing really slow.
I'm pretty tired of this at this moment. It's hard to get around and do the things I need or would like to do. walking is good to get things rolling, but it hasn't work for me yet. Nate and I will power waddle the mall once or twice and they start to hurt, gut then I'm too tired to keep walking (it's hard caring 20-30 pounds in just your belly!). After we get home, I try to take a warm shower to increase oxytocin, but that hasn't worked too well yet.
Apparently, when I am in "true labor", I won't be able to handle the contractions, they say. The problem, I'm pretty good with pain. I survived dislocating my knee six times before having the corrective surgery and a year with an inflamed gallbladder and stones before having it out, both without post-op pain medication (stupid pharmacist tried to give me vicodin, which can kill me). So if I do go into "true labor", I'm not sure that I'll be able to tell because of the high pain tolerents.
I was barely able to walk the dogs today with all of the pelvic pressure, I can't stay at home by myself because of a doting husband and overprotective mother to finish the
"nesting process", there's nothing anyone can do to make me comfortable, and it's still technically too early for the doctors to move this along! I mean, I'm due tomorrow and they won't do anything still! And to top it off, today's 7th Heaven was the one when Lucy went into labor! Just rub it in my face, why don't you universe?
I just want to be done!

Come Out!

Well, I've been at my folks more the past two weeks more than I have in a long time. Basically after my brother got home from a.i.t, I dropped (baby settled into my pelvis). I was fine with that, less heartburn, more peeing; but last week, I went into a false labor at 12:00 in the morning. Oi! That was an adventure!
So, Nate and I decided that I should have someone close by, just in case he really decides to to pop. So most of last week, I was with either my Grammy, my dad, or B when I wasn't with Nate.
Oh, but the fun doesn't end there: Monday morning (around12:30) I started having contractions again. I figured that they would just go away, so I went to the family room and put in a movie to distract me. Half way through, it was getting harder to concentrate on Hairspray and by 3:30 I was so tired and frustrated, I woke up Nate, just for support. When the lights went on, my lips were white apparently, a good sign of dehydration. So we called the Dr. and explained the contraction thing-y and was told to come in to see if baby was okay.
Apparently dehydration causes contractions. After watching how baby was doing and getting some water in me (it was bad enough that I needed an IV) we were sent home, yet again, to wait. Fun fun.
At least I got a cool water jug out of the deal. It holds ruffly 900 cc (30oz) and I was instructed to drink at least three of the jugs a day to ward off dehydration again.

I'm so ready to have this baby! Unless you're a mom, you have no idea how uncomfortable I am and how anxious I am to meet him.

It's a baby....

BOY!
Hubby and I went to the ultra-sound visit yesterday and we're having a little boy! He is so beautiful, even in see-through black-and-white. He was also quite a wiggler yesterday, so we found the culprit for the twinges in my bladder.
Hubby and I thought it was the funniest thing, whenever the ultra-sound tech tried to get a close up on his face, he would wave his hands in front of it or start sucking his thumb! But, after a bit, we got a few really good profiles. I’ll have to take them to the copy store; because 1) I don’t have a scanner and 2) the scanner my dad has uses a heat lamp (can’t expose the printouts to heat because of thermal paper that will turn black if we do). As soon as I get them on a disk, they’ll be right here.
I feel so blessed right now! I can’t wait to meet our son! Our son… I love the sound of that.

Very emotional hugs and yarn,
~em

*this title left blank intentionally*

Yeah, it’s one of those days.
My In-Laws are in town. Have been since Friday. Now don’t get me wrong, I love them very much, it’s just I’m tired and need to stop coughing.
The In-Laws are putting in new windows in the baby room, so that means a TON of dust. I’m really, really allergic to dust and have been fighting headaches, clogged sinuses, sneezing and coughing up a lung. It’s not pretty. I’ve been coughing so hard, it’s induced vomiting on more than one occasion.
It’s so bad I couldn’t go to work today. So I’m at my parent’s house, where it’s quieter and much less dusty.
The really nice thing is my MIL cleaned the whole kitchen. And I mean cleaned, like getting down on her hands and knees cleaned. You have no idea how thankful I am to her. The nasty smell in there is gone 100%. I was able to bake bread on Sunday! Thank you so much MIL! I love you!
(I really need to see a doctor. I think this cough is more than just allergies. I use to get really bad bronchitis in high school and it kind of feels like that.)

On a much better note, Thursday was so awesome! I went to the OBs office and there my hubby and I heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. It was one of the most magical and happiest days in our lives. Once the med-student found it on the Doppler, a wave of relief flooded over me.
There’s a condition called pseudocyesis where for mental and physical reasons, your body acts pregnant when you’re really not. It’s really a mental condition, and seeing that I have quite a few of those already, it was a fear in the back of my mind.
That heartbeat was just the thing I needed to know that it’s real. And when I looked over to Hubby, he had just the proudest look on his face. He even started crying when I called my mom to tell her (but he’ll never admit it).

So, here’s to Mothers and Mothers-To-Be everywhere; Happy Belated Mother’s Day!

Blurp!!

If anyone out there has had a simply wonderful, nothing but sun shine and lollypops pregnancy…. I hate you all.

Okay, I don’t really mean that, but: I can tolerate the achy, pre-arthritic joints; I can fight through the fatigue most days; the mild cramping from the womb growing is nothing compared to my usual cramping, but God, make the nausea go away!

Most days, I wake up so sick to my stomach, I can’t even think of food until well after 1:00 in the afternoon. And every time I go into the kitchen, there’s this horrible rank stench of bad meat (that Hubby can’t smell by the way) I have to hold my breath or I’ll start dry heaving. And going to work… don’t get me started on how many times I’ve gotten sick there! Yes, even the nice smell of fresh baked cookies sends me into a tizzy.

And with the nausea, that just makes the fatigue so much worse! It seems that when I wake up in the morning, I lie in bed for around half-an-hour to an hour trying to find the energy to go to the bathroom.

Saltines are my friends!

The Week from H-E-double toothpicks

Life is fine now, it was anyway, but the 'wonderful' health system wanted to screw it up a little.

When I was at our family doctor getting the OK for The Leach, he said that if I had any bleeding to go to the ER, even if I thought it was nothing, just to be safe. Well, Tuesday, I was having just some light pinkish spotting. I figured it was nothing, but since the Doc told me to, I went to the ER at 2:30pm with my hubby. He had a day off.
Well, we get there and after a weight (not very long compared to the 5 hour weighting room sit I had once) I went to a room and had my examination. The Dr. told me that sometimes that happens when the cervix is irritated, like after a pelvic exam or the S-E-X, because there is increased blood flow there. She told me I would be fine, but just to see how I was coming along; they wanted to do an ultra-sound.
Just routine, they had to do blood levels for pregnancy, which the time to get results is an hour. Those came back normal at 891. After the lab was done they called the ultra-sound tech on call and told me that she would be her in 20 minutes or less. It was another hour and a half till she showed up!
When she finally starts the ultra-sound by shoving the stick thingy up my hoo-ha, it was clear she really didn't know what she was doing. She dug around for about five minutes before she found the gestation sack, and even then, she wasn't sure that it was it. The thing she did find was a dark spot on my ovary.
I see it to and I'm like 'No big deal! I get cysts there every now and then, plus that's a good cyst that's helping The Leach grow.' The Tech has different, thoughts. She thinks it's an ectopic pregnancy. Stupid %&*$&
So, in two days, I go to the OBs office to have more blood levels done; if the 891 doubled in that time, everything should be fine. They called back Friday, telling me that my levels were well over 2000, but the Dr. wanted me to come back in for a second ultra-sound.
Let's just say this tech was 10000 times better than the last. She shoved the stick in and found The leach right away; and it was amazing to see how much s/he had changed in just two days! The Dr. came in telling me everything looked perfect and that they would see me on my scheduled appointment.

All that trouble for nothing? Well, not exactly nothing, I got to see our baby!

Baby at the ER:

Baby 2 days later:

The Leach

So, we're trying to think of names to call the baby/fetus/bun/whatever you call it while it's still in the oven. Chicken Knit had 'The Bean' (go check out the pictures of her daughter!) and our music leader at church had 'E.T.'........ Well, you know when you say something once about something/someone and it just sticks? Ours is dubbed "The Leach". Let me explain...
So far, I really haven’t had very many 'negative' effects of pregnancy; I found a way to control the nausea and I've gone from having to pee every 15 minutes to every half hour. But the only thing that seems to be knocking me on my butt is the fatigue, I just have no energy! So yesterday, my sister-in-law and I are hanging out and we're talking about pregnancy stuff and I said, "Yeah, it's just sucking the life out of me, like a leach!" as a joke. Well, now I think that its name 'till I spit it out will be "The Leach" because, that's how I feel.
By the way, any other expecting mothers out there who are having morning/afternoon/night sickness try Preggie Pop Drops. You can get them at Motherhood stores. They're really good tasting, all natural (sugar, corn syrup, citric acid, natural oils, and natural coloring from vegetables’) and only around $5.00 for a pack of 21. It helps calm the tummy without all the artificial chemical crap!

HOLY CRAP!!

So, let's talk.
I'm on the net yesterday and am doing some research on 'reasons-to-not-have-your-monthly-friend-without-being-pregnant' 'coz, well, I'm late. So, I stumble across this site that can create a calendar of your cycle and pregnancy and good crap like that. So I enter in the first day of my last normal period and how many days are in my cycle and guess what, it says the conception date is Feb. 14 and I start freaking out (I won't say why, you can figure that out)!
So, because I'm 1) paranoid and 2) a week and a few days late, I go to my local drug store and pick up a home pregnancy test.
I go home about 4:30; pee on the end of the stick and in 30 seconds, a little + sign appeared in the box! Ohmagod! I'm freaking out!
So, just to make sure that it wasn't a fluke test, I do it again this morning and again, there is the little + sign!
SQUEE!!!!!!!! I'm heading to the Doctors this afternoon to get the Docs positive and to get a referable to an OB/GYN for pre-natal care.
Looks like his boys finally found Wisconsin....