Friday, May 21, 2010

They broke the mold - YEAH RIGHT!

I've been feeling just kind of punk lately and not quite sure why. And let me tell you that if you're feeling ill and trying to keep up your house (even if it doesn't look like you are, you really are) cook and care for a toddler, you can get a little crabby (well, I do at least).
The ill feeling is probably allergies. When the weather is damp and with the amount of mold in our house (behind walls, mind you), my allergies just rum me down - sinus trouble, nausea, headache and stiff neck... how fun. So, I'm spending the day at my folks today after Sean spent the night. Nate and I saw South Pacific last, which was wonderful. Thanks Mom!
Anyway, back to my dilemma: I just feel that no matter how hard I work at it, I just can't do things right. I feel like a burden to my folks that I'm here.
Plus, Nate went on a mens retreat with the church this weekend and I'm also a little sad because.... I don't have many friends. There! I said it! I really don't. I have a lot of acquaintances and 'pals', but not a lot of friends whom you can call out of the blue for tea or just to come over and talk. I feel so lonely sometimes that I just hate to be left alone. That's why I wanted to come over to my parents. Someone is around.
I know that my mother has never understood that. 'Wouldn't you rather be at your own house?' she's asks more than once. Truthfully; no. 1)It makes me sick and 2)I'm there alone (well, Sean and Tobey, but they can't really talk to me) most days of the week. I have never done well alone.

Sorry for the mundane entry; it's been cloudy and wet the past few days and lack-of-sunlight and I don't get along.... plus the whole allergy thing. But I'm sure it'll get better, given the fact that the next three days are soppose to be dry and frickin' beautiful!